So with the new year comes some renewed faith, not only in others, but in my self. I'm not sure why it has to be the "New Year" to feel more motivated towards achieving goals, but whatever works, I guess.
My goal this year is the get rid of fear. In particular, the fear of doing something and failing. I want to eliminate the negative thoughts (even if small) that are in the back of my mind tell me, "I can't..." or "you won't..." or even "don't even bother, you'll never..." These thoughts are self-defeating (and I know this!) before I event start. This fear has held me back from doing the things I am truly passionate about -- by the time I'm 45 I want to be doing something, working in a field, that I am truly passionate about. I say 45 because I know that what I want to do, if I want to do it right, will require me returning to school for an altogether different career path.
So in the name of facing my fear, I will share what it is I want to do: I want to become a personal trainer (and nutritionist in some form). I want to help others who are obese believe that they can exercise and that they do deserve a good quality of life.
This is something that I've wanted to do long before I ever had RNY, but would never admit to. Back in 1997 I registered at my first gym. I was 347 lbs. The owner of the gym battled morbid obesity and lost almost 200 lbs. She left her career as a school teacher and opened the gym. Meeting her, feeling her impact on me and seeing how she helped others was inspirational.
Sadly though, in spite of all her inspiration I just couldn't move forward. After all, how could someone who hasn't "arrived" yet possibly forge this path for themselves? Maybe it was the fear of dealing with my own issues?
In any case, if I always do what I did, I will always get what I've got. So it's time for change.
I will be kinder to my self, believe in my self and know that if I set out to achieve something I can and will. And so what if I haven't "arrived" yet, why should that keep me from working towards my goals? I will look at this path as an opportunity to further explore my issues while I learn.
I'm thinking being my own lab rat will be pretty convenient. :)
1 Egg + 3 Whites
Coffee w/FF 1/2 n 1/2
2% Cottage Cheese
½ C. Light Fruit
1 Tuna Soft Taco with:
- 4 oz. Tuna
- 1 Whole Wheat Tort.
- 1 T. Sour cream
- 1 T. Shred Cheese
½ Lg. Apple
4 oz FF Yogurt
6oz. Ham Lean
Total Calories: 1396
Total Fat: 36 g.
Total Carbs: 141 g.
Total Protein 124 g.